5 Tips to Working On Your Marriage When Wife Is Cheating
I think it is in the best interests of all my readers that I make a honest declaration before I continue writing any further. This post is being written on demand from a handful of my male readers who made it clear to me that they desperately need some tips to make their marriage work, while their wives continue to cheat on them.
To Work On Your Marriage While Wife Is Cheating Is Heroic
A cheating wife is definitely a huge problem on its own and working on your marriage while she is cheating on you is like singlehandedly battling a tornado. It takes a lot of courage and commitment towards your marriage and family. Probably you guys are going through all of this for your kids. Or maybe you are doing it simply because you love your wife despite her infidelity.
All of you guys who are doing this have my respect and support. You are awesome! So without any further ado, let me present my tips for all of you:
1) Analyze Your Marriage
Before you can even think of any effective solutions to work on your marriage, you’ll need to identify the root cause of the problem. You need to know why your wife is cheating on you. This is probably the most crucial part of salvaging any marriage that has even the slightest hint of infidelity in it.
To know the reasons why your wife is cheating you, I suggest that you visit back soon to read my next post that will explain the top 5 reasons in detail. But to sum it up in few words, your wife is cheating you because you do not satisfy her emotional needs.
2) Take On The Challenge
Once you have got hold of the “reason” why your wife is cheating on you, you have managed to win almost half of the battle ahead. Remember that your wife is cheating on you and having a relationship with her lover, only because of this “reason”. The other guy (your wife’s lover) is fulfilling the void left by you. Your wife is simply diverting her attention towards whoever is fulfilling that void.
So, get ready for a challenge with the other guy (not literally-unless you are the one with the bulkier muscles and mightier punch). Anyways, you must now realize 3 things:
The “void” is your wife’s emotional need
Your challenge is to fill the void
You are competing with this other guy to fill that void.
Let me make your day a bit brighter with some good news. You already have an unfair advantage over that silly other guy. Yeah, you read it right the first time. You share a marriage, years of emotional bonding, a family unit and hopefully some kids with your wife, which the other bloody guy does not. You only have to put in a bit of efforts, a lot of determination and a truckload of hope in your marriage to make this work. Don’t forget that you are a hero and heroes can make this work, actually heroes can get everything to work.
3) Confront Your Wife
Before you read further, you must understand that there are 3 possible situations that could arise here.
Your wife thinks you do not know of her affair
She is not sure whether you know of her affair or not
She knows for sure that you know everything about her affair
Whatever be the situation you are in, you must come out in the open about this issue that is eating away at your marriage. And the best way to do this is to have an honest confrontation with your wife. Make it absolutely clear that you know of her cheating, but a word of caution is necessary here.
Do not (under any circumstance) confront her with an attitude that pushes her further away from you. Do not lose your temper and make sure you avoid rude and ridiculing tone while talking to her. Also do not try to straighten her out or flash ultimatums to her.
Make sure that you choose a place and occasion when you both have your privacy and she is perfectly relaxed. Choose your words carefully and let her know at the start itself that you love her and are willing to work on your marriage despite her cheating. Try your level best to adopt a sympathetic approach and allow her to vent her feelings and complaints against you and listen carefully to her justifications for her cheating.
4) Request a Second Chance
Now that she has vented her frustrations and justifications, make it very clear to her that you genuinely want to turn things around. Request her to give you a chance to be better and promise her with all sincerity that you will work on saving your marriage and winning her love and confidence back at all costs.
By now, you guys may be thinking that this is stretching things too far. Why do you have to try so hard to impress her when it was she who cheated? You are tempted to demand an apology from your wife and also would like to hear her say all that you are being suggested to say. But if you really want to save your marriage and get your wife to stop this goddamned affair and get back to you wholeheartedly, you really have to follow these tips.
Believe me guys; no woman can continue cheating for long when she finds her husband is ready to walk on coals, simply for the sake of getting her back. Trust me, by the time you are done, you will have a wife who has not only kicked her lover out of her life forever but also someone who will love more than ever.
5) Reach an Agreement
Once you have your wife back in your life, now you need to reach a mutual agreement. On her part she needs to promise that she will never ever try to re-ignite the old flames again with her lover. She also has to promise that yours will be the only shoulder she cries on when she has any problems, complaints or issues in her life.
You have to promise that you will never ever let her down or create another void in her life. Both of you have to promise 100 % commitment, honesty and love to each other and promise to stand together at all times and in the face of all calamities.
Guys, I would really appreciate it if you would let me know how these tips helped your efforts at working on your marriage. You need not use the comment box if you are wary of disclosing your identity. Just use the contact form and shoot me an email. I’ll consider myself blessed even if one person saves his marriage using these tips.